Right now

A lot can happen in 2 weeks. a lot.

Throughout this 2 weeks, i realised i need to start reevaluate everything.
What happened in this 2 weeks tested my friendships.
I know not many of you read my blog but this is my way of venting, so here goes..

what happened not only hurt him, it hurt me too.
I didnt go public about how i felt, but im sure he did. This cost me a lot of pain.
I think, every story has 2 sides of it, and people should know that.
Clearly, some of them didnt.

For the past few days, ive been at home, sleeping in the day time and playing The Sims Social at night. And thats about sums up my past few days.
not a good habit to pick up. I should spend my last few weeks, going out and be happy.

I really need my bestfriends with me. but i cant bring myself to let them know that.

They have so many things going on for them, they dont need another burden like me to bring them out of their loop.

I feel very vulnerable and fragile.
I have less than a month here and i just want everything to be great especially before i leave.

good day!

Today was really fun! Very chill :) Spent only RM2 on milo ice hahah.
Hung out with friends i havent seen in like ages. Like *PETERNEIK* ahem. Bloody sohai, too busy to hang out with me :(

But twas good, had about 200 games of pool. After playing with Haris, i feel like bettering myself at it by alot, like actually practicing. Seeing how I have a month and a half to play around and do nothing, i could do something "beneficial" and practice pool :p how i wish that could burn my fats away.

I wanted to dedicate next month (August) to like work-out, hardcore! FAIL, next month is fasting month -__-

I wish eating could make me lose weight.

Just had pizza for dinner D:

toophat.>:(

peaceeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

yay!

I know its been months since i last blogged.
Alot has happened since March (my last post)!

Most of my friends know that Ive worked so haardd to put together an art portfolio from scratch with no guidance but help from my close friends (all in the span of 3 months). I practically stayed at home from January to March just to complete it by painting, drawing, brain-storming, sewing, sketching & what not. Just to make it more fun and less painful, i did it all infront of the tv.

My interview for the University of the Arts London was at the end of march. I was sooo nervous, I was literally shaking. But it was all worth it when I got accepted to London College of Fashion (one of the colleges under UAL) eventhough it wasnt my initial choice. I was soo happy.

Right after that though, I had sooo much freedom. Im only leaving to the UK on the 14th September. So, since late March til now, i have been doing nothing beneficial. Just spent alot of my parents money.. I feel really really bad okay!

Here's a list of what ive been doing since march:

1. I went to Singapore.. twice. Shopping spreeee!

2. I got my visa done, finallyyyy! It got approved, thank god. Applying for visa was probably the most annoying thing ive ever done. Especially the UK visa -__- They ask you questions like as if everyone is a potential terrorist.

3. I got a couple of modelling gigs. Just for exposure, nothing serious!

4. Said goodbye to all my friends that left to aussie :(

5. WENT FOR INCUBUS!!!!!!!!!!!!! hell freaking yeah. Got their autographs too :p he-he

6. Cleared out my closet. had no idea how much junk i had til i cleared it. I might even do a post on de-cluttering your closet.

7. tried to do a lot of things that actually benefit me like lose weight, eat healthy, take up kickboxing, save money. atleast, i tried. haha :P

8. Found myself a roommate to live with in the UK!

9. Went out a loooott.

10. Ate alot of good food.

11. Spent almost all of my savings on the above ^

12. Went through puberty [Phase 2]

Yeah, well that basically sums it up.
Dont know whether anyone still reads my blog. but if you do, i'll give you a cookie :)

ps:/ you should de-clutter your life, makes you feel better, i promisee :) sorry, watched too much Oprah!

Cussing.

I like cuss words!
I think people should start censoring their mouths.
So... Learn from me!

1. F*CK : FATHER/FISH/FISHCAKE/CRAP
2. MOTHERF*CKER: MOTHERFATHER
3. WHAT THE F*CK: WHAT THE FUDGE/WHAT THE FISHCAKE/ WHAT THE CRAP/WHAT THE CHEESE CRACKERS (or anything food related)
4. B*TCH: BETCH/BISH/FISH
5. D*CK: PENIS

i cant think of anymore swear words.

but here's a website related to my blog post;

http://www.noswearing.com

Happy Valentines Day

FCKH8



Oohyoutouchmytalala commented:

"99% likelihood that you watch lesbian porn and drool over it. 99.9% likelihood that you watch porn otherwise and drool over it. And you're calling male lovers 'perverts'. Lulul.

Pedofiles, rapists, murderers - legally, they all have as much right to get married as straight people. But then gays are persecuted for loving someone of the same sex? How can you not see that sexuality is the most fluent thing there is? Lesbian, gay, straight, bi, transgender - we're all fucking people."

FCKH8

the ONLY time i have ever felt beautiful or even close to pretty was when i was 15.
i remember soo clearly.

i was in cambodia with my parents, having the worst time ever. probably the worst "holiday" ive ever been on. its not the country i dislike, its the company.

anyway, we were driving around the kampung area and dropped by a couple of fruit stalls.
i was sweaty, hungry and felt so frustrated, desperately wanting to go home.
my shirt and hat was basically soaked in sweat.

then, i saw a bus filled with tourists from Italy. i mean, you could tell, if you see loud people doing hand signals - they're either Italian or French.

anyway, i was so annoyed with my parents and bumped into this old Italian lady.
i apologised and smiled to her and was about to walk away until she held my arm and looked at me. she did hand gestures around my face and said, "Bello" or was it bella?

i went blank. i told her i cant speak italian, she smiled and walked away.
then i turned around and my dad looked at me and said she thought i was beautiful.

whoever you are, old italian lady.
you made my day.
we need more people like you, especially in this world we live in

this is tough

Never felt this crappy in a loong time.
everything happening around me right now, i just can't seem to keep it within my control, you know?
I fear i might just lose control over everything i once had.

Seeing how everything's just revolving around me as time passes, i just have to keep sane and wait for something to happen next.